This is letting go
by sarcastic-muse
Summary: Draco made a promise and the only way he can keep it is to let go.


Rating: G   
  
Genre: Angst  
  
Pairing: Draco  
  
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OoTP  
  
Disclaimers: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
  
  
  
This is letting go  
  
  
  
"My father" Draco Malfoy started as he walked around the bedroom that had been his since birth a room that was once filled with the best that money could buy but was now half empty everything he could take was packed in trunks that were stacked beside the fire "Father I'm" he started again then stood his eyes looked at the clock that hung on the wall above the desk that yesterday had been covered in parchment and quills but now was bare. "Father I'm sorry but" he stopped and turned to the leather arm chair that was in the room beside the fireplace. That arm chair held so many memories for him he was glad it couldn't talk or it would be spilling a lot of secret meetings to everyone "father I know you'll never forgive me" He said firmer this time yet still his voice shook he walked to the window and looked out across the land of the Malfoy manor its large elegant ground seemed go on forever or at least as far as Draco's eyes could see" Do I really want to give all this up?"  
  
"You promised you would you promised" A voice said from within the room Draco turned and smiled at its owner a real smile something his father would hate something he'd only shown when he was alone" You promised me "the voice spoke stepping closer a cold hand raised and touched the cool pale skin of Draco Malfoy's cheek he nuzzled against it. He'd never felt such love such warmth towards him in his life" You can back out now Malfoy if you want I'll go alone" The voice spoke again his grey eyes turned sliver as he shook his head he bit his bottom lip.  
  
"I promised" He said" where would you go if I didn't come?" He asked the hand moved from his cheek and the shadows seem to wrap them self around the person pulling them back into the darkness of the room no words were spoken again no voice came from the room nothing. the sound of the outside world entered the sun was coming up light was flooding the room "Where will you go?"  
  
"Here there I'll always be around Draco just not like before" The voice spoke it was clear now the own was far away it sounded to weak "I won't be there for you to touch for you to feel to hold and to own I'll be somewhere else "It said Draco looked out the window" You won't find me out there Draco you'll walk down every street looking for me and you'll think you see me...you'll stop someone who reminds you of me say my name to them and they won't turn around. You'll love another in time you'll find someone who'll be there for you who'll love you but still won't let go" Draco felt a cold breath on his neck" something inside you will hurt forever a pain that nothing will cure...You'll hear my voice sometimes in dreams and in the wind you'll smell me the smell that reminds you I'm around but you won't tell anyone they'd never understand" The voice faded slightly as it moved away" You'll marry have a heir like your fathers always had planned for you a pure blood heir who you'll treat like you were treated" Draco turned around he caught sight of the own of the cool claming voice standing in the dark it sent a bolt of lighting through him what he saw wasn't what he remember. The eyes were dull skin almost grey dressed all in a deep ruby red dress and robe only the robe was torn in tatters and hair was lifeless the fullness he'd loved was gone it laid flat against her pale skin" You won't remember me like this Draco I won't look like this in you mind. You shouldn't blame yourself"  
  
He looked at the fire that was burning he did blame himself if his mother hadn't seen him if he hadn't fallen so deeply in love if he hadn't been so careless his father would have found out he could have carried on for a life time without him ever knowing. At first he'd been careful covering his tracks no one had so much as a clue of their love until he got careless he didn't cover his tracks he didn't bother hiding it anymore. Why should he hid the fact he loved her she was after all a pureblood like himself his father couldn't say he loved a mudblood like Granger. Ginny Weasley was a pure blood just like himself he had married her the second she left Hogwarts he have lived as poor as her family were because with her he was richer then his father would ever be. Nothing works out that way though does it?  
  
His father didn't see Ginny as a pureblood witch but he only saw what her mother and father did with their work for the order fighting for the wrong side in the war he only saw his son was on her side the wrong side. Draco knew what his father planned to do he knew he had to get Ginny away somewhere safe he promised he'd go with her keep safe then she'd ever been in her life.  
  
And that's what he tried to do he'd packed his trunks and hers were stacked ready to floo out of England to France then on to wherever the first muggle train was heading they had to go to get away for all their safety.  
  
"But I do blame myself" Draco whispered "I should have got to you I should have been there I promised you" He said falling into the arm chair looking at the fire "I tried to get to you in time...My father he locked me in the room was covered in charms I couldn't get" I cold hand touched his cheek a pair of cold lips brushed his own his hand reached up but touched nothing but cold air the lips left" Your dead aren't you?"  
  
"Yes" The voice whispered  
  
"Are you a ghost?" He asked  
  
"No a memory" she whispered sounding like tom did on her first year at Hogwarts she knew that's when she started to fall for bad guys he'd been like a drug she was hooked on and the guys that came after him didn't last long not until Draco he'd been as bad as she needed. Draco was as bad as Tom had been but she knew he would try and take over her forcing her to do his evil work" I won't leave you...I won't be with you like this but I'll be in here" She touched his head" You'll keep me safe forever like you promised" She said he looked at the fire" Tell my brothers the truth Draco will you do that tell them what we were?" He nodded" And Harry tell him? Take care of everyone" He nodded again he looked at the dull red haired girl in front of him "Draco let me go now" He reached forward but touched nothing but air" I love you" he felt as though his heart had been torn out ripped from his chest and thrown in the fire that in front of him.  
  
"I love you too Ginny" He whispered she was gone he couldn't see her he couldn't hear there he was gone he'd been so possessive when they were together she'd been his he'd had died to keep her safe but when it came down to it he couldn't get there he couldn't keep her safe anymore. She was gone now she was dead because he'd failed to keep his promise to her because he couldn't get there. His beautiful Ginny was gone because He'd been careless and useless his Ginny who seemed to have a Love of all things that her mother warned her about he would never feel her touch her kiss her again. He'd never feel her pressed against his body as he watched her sleep again she'd never kiss him playful on the lips and whisper in his ear "My mum warned me about boys like you Malfoy"  
  
Avada Kedavra that's what had been used on her killed her for no reason other then he thought she'd take Draco to the other side he though he'd have to fight his own son that's why he killed her. Draco stood walking towards his trunk opening it he bent down and pushed aside clothing and such till he found a small wooden box the lock silver shaped like a snake smiling slightly he opened it pulling out a small green glass bottle. He held it up looking at the glass smiling it seemed to beg him to open it t drink it to take away this pain. He sat crossed legged on the floor looking at it. His head fuzzy with feelings of fear oh hate for his father for the dark mark that had been burned into his arm. His eyes began to blur he could hard see for tears his stomach ached with a feeling he'd never felt before. Rage boiled in his blood pure rage he knocked the cap off the bottle and looked around he could drink it and die he wasn't scared of death he was just scared of life he didn't want to fight against Harry anymore it didn't seem worth his time. It had before no it seemed as though it was pointless he didn't want to do anything anymore.  
  
There was nothing he enjoyed in this world anymore drink didn't make him drunk anymore music didn't make him sing along like he used to. Food had use he stopped eating it a while ago now nothing seem to be the same anymore." Romeo died killed himself and then found out his love wasn't dead "Draco said out loud to himself only he knew his love was dead she had been for many years now. Draco had grown older and he knew Ginny wasn't going to wake up she was gone the room he spent his days in was the same as that day and now all he wanted was to let go of this life.  
  
His mother had made sure he was taken care of House elves came brought him food drink although he'd sent it back untouched. He known his father would have him sent away somewhere soon enough Draco knew soon enough his mother would give in his father would win like he always did and a 25 year Draco Malfoy would be sent away forever. His name would be spoken in passing from time to time then it would be as if he was never born. He knew he was the last male Heir to the Malfoy name they'd be no more after him and that didn't bother him anymore what was a name worth in this world. To him nothing mattered anymore raising the green bottle to his lips and closed his eyes the warmth hit him like a train slowly he went back to the arm chair and looked at the fire" Am I mad?" he asked  
  
"No just scared" A voice said he looked at the painting over the fire there stood a Malfoy a old woman with the long blonde hair where had she come from he thought that painting was of a knight on a horse" You drunk it all" He nodded fighting the urge to close his tried grey eyes" Shall I get your mother?" he shook his head she smiled "If your sure young Malfoy"  
  
"I see her she haunts my dreams" Draco said closing his eyes" My waking moments are haunted by her I want to be where she is now I promised her you see I promised her I'd be there when she needed me...I wish she was her to be with now I'm scared"  
  
"Of dying?" he shook his head "No your scared of not being with her your scared you won't end up with her....sleep now Draco your not alone" her voice grew faint" You'll wake with her soon" Draco's breath grew slower his head was screaming you should have said goodbye you should have said goodbye to mother to everyone.  
  
House elves found Draco Malfoy that evening while bringing him his dinner the lady in the painting spoke to them told them what he had done his mother cried his father didn't say anything. It was hushed over when people asked it was a illness that killed Draco Malfoy not his own hand he was laid to rest in the Malfoy family crypt no one came his mother and father were there and left soon after. Two people dressed all in black dressed all in black walked slowly over the wet grass the sun had hardly been up more then a hour. A hand reached up and touched the cold stone of the small vault that held his body and other Malfoy's of the past a finger ran over the letters that spelt the name Malfoy bending down a white rose was placed on the grass" Take care of her for me?" Ron said "I'll know she's happy now" He said looking at the rose" Tell her we miss her....Is this what it feels like to let go?" He turned around and looked at the man behind him dressed in black that matched the mess of black hair two green eyes looked at him and nodded" Do you think he's with her?"  
  
"He promised her he'd be with her forever....This is letting go Ron" Harry said looking at sky "Malfoy may be a git but he never broke a promise" Harry turned around and walked up the hill followed by Ron "He never broke your sisters heart did he? Not like I did. Malfoy loved only two things"  
  
"Ginny and money" Harry nodded" This is letting go for him and for us" 


End file.
